We’ve all been there at one point or another. A project that once held great promise is getting fucked up by incompetent marketing assistants or micromanaging CEOs. Here are 10 of my war stories – no names, no hype, just the facts. Plus a few words about what I learned along the way. This is my preliminary list. It may change between now and June 11, but it should give you some idea as to where I’m coming from.

 

“What shade of lipstick can you put on our pig?”

What to do when the client doesn’t really care

 

“Would you consider a no-cure, no-pay agreement?”

How to get screwed in one easy lesson

 

“Who called this stupid meeting? Who are you guys? Why am I here?”

How to avoid meetings from hell

 

“But social media is free…”

The truth behind so-called “social media marketing”

 

“BTW, I’m no longer in charge of the project. I’m transferring to our office in China.”

What to do when the key decision-maker leaves the team a week before the contract is signed.

 

“Oh, the contract is just a formality…”

What to watch out for when dealing with bureaucrats

 

“We want the best damned site in our industry. Can we have it Thursday?”

How to give clues to clueless clients

 

“You didn’t deliver what you promised…”

We know about feature creep. What about deliverables creep?

 

“My wife says links should be blue.”

What to do when the CEO pulls rank

 

“But your proposal doesn’t contain all the stuff we want but didn’t ask for…”

How to read between blurry lines.

 

Note: this will be a TWITTER-FREE session. I'm going to speak honestly and openly. I trust you not to violate confidences as some of the people in these stories might recognize themselves